let it be dorky and hot

“Let it be dorky and hot.” My brain just cannot let go of these words shared by sex educator Felice Shays at the Playground 2018 Conference recently.

And they pretty much sum up my conference experience. While the ‘it’ was specifically about rough sex (check back soon for more on that), the lesson here is about life.

“Let yourself be dorky and hot.” I could live the rest of my life by these words. Giving myself permission to be my own original dorky self, embracing dorky as good and real and worth celebrating.

When I celebrate my dorkiness, I give myself permission to explore, to make a mistake, to try something new. I can ask questions, admit I don’t know something, and say what I’m thinking and feeling. I can yes. I can say no. I can say let me think about it while I launch into an interpretive dance.

Embodying dorky means that can look silly, get dirty, and relax. In dorkiness there is room to move – I can stretch boundaries and grow and bounce back, limited only by my imagination and my willingness to play. I can wear the shirt I feel good in, rather than the one that looks sexy on the hangar.

Being dorky means following the beat of my own heart and soul, rather than straining to figure out where I am ‘supposed’ to be going. When I trip over my own feet and fall down, I can lie there on my back and take in life from this new angle. I get to spend less time doing, or apologizing for not doing, and more time being.

So here I am, aspiring to be as dorky and hot as I was when I was 17.