practice, practice, practice

I send my clients home to practice the skills we’ve explored in session. “What can you do at home,” I ask them, “to support your learning?” I invite them to consider when where and how they will take some time for their own exploration and expansion.

But I don’t always practice what I preach.

Many a morning a freshly-brewed pot of coffee and a long to-do list have distracted me from my own self-pleasuring practice. Somehow that load of laundry or deck to clear or phone call to make gets my attention and I forget my intention to practice self-care.

And then Monday comes again, and somehow on Mondays my intentions are clearer, and I recommit to my self-care. I lie in bed and consider what would feel best today – dancing, orgasmic yoga, a walk in the forest, writing in my journal, or maybe some delicious combination.

This morning I chose to dance, finding the steps and music to a sacred circle dance choreography I’ve been thinking about but haven’t practiced for years. I’ve been humming the music lately, but as I read the notation, the steps didn’t make sense. I tried to walkthrough them, but I couldn’t sort out the steps and the timing. Finally I decided to simply put on the music and let my body move how it wanted to move.

And my body remembered. By the time the song had played through once, I had it! Quick, quick and slow, slow, slow, it was still there in my body. I danced it five times, each time going deeper into my body, letting go of counting or thinking, just letting my body move. It wasn’t perfect, but it was so good.

And as I stood there in the silence, after the last note had played, the thought came. “Ah, yes. This is why we practice.”